THE KEEPING IT REAL ISSUE - Issue #15
Because being fake clogs up your life
Hey All
I trust this edition finds you well and happy? Hope so! It’s great to have you here and, if you’re a newbie subscriber, then a double welcome to you :)
In this edition I thought it was time we talked about ridding ourselves of all the “fakeness” in our lives that clogs things up - unnecessary ideas about how we should look; actually looking “unreal” and dropping those people who turn out to be less than good friends. So if any of this resonates with you in any way, read on…..
HAVING A LITTLE “WORK” DONE?
Cosmetic procedures are so much more available these days, and are much more accepted in society. Have a little something “done” can make many women (and men) feel so much better about themselves and enhances their self esteem, which in my book is never, ever a bad thing
But, having something done that completely changes the structure of their face, that HAS to be a bad thing. For example, recently I saw actress Stockard Channing , most famous for her role as Rizzo in Grease, interviewed on The One Show and I really didn’t recognise her. See what I mean:
Yes, she’s in her 70’s but her face was so bloated and puffy it hid her features and, quite honestly, she looked scary! And other than her voice, and self deprecating sense of humour, you wouldn’t have known it was her.
I can understand women, and actresses in particular where their appearance is everything, wanting to try and blot away the ravages of time, but honestly, is this considered “okay” in La La Land?
Cosmetic surgery will always be a hot potato and very much a personal choice, but it’s to be hoped friends and those close to you will be brave enough to tell you when you’ve gone too far.
MID LIFE: HOW FAR SHOULD YOU GO (Bearing all?)
So whilst we’re on the subject on women in the media who go a bit too far, here’s someone else who in my book might have done that very thing:
If you’ve seen Carol Vorderman’s instagram account recently, you’ll know that she’s not amiss at posting rather suggestive, if not slightly porno, posts of herself.
Now, don’t get me wrong - if I’m as good a shape as she is at age 60 (and that’s highly unlikely)- would I do the same?
Er, no.
Bear with me a minute. Over her years in the spotlight, Carol has always used her media persona to promote those who don’t get their voices heard. She hosts Children of Courage, she launched products to make maths easier for school children and is generally seen as a good egg. A frightfully rich one, but a good egg just the same
For all those still involved in the #MeToo campaign and all those who are trying to turn the tide on how women are viewed, what do these images say? From what I know of Carol and her media persona, she’d be the first to shout loudly about the misrepresentation/mistreatment of women etc. So posting suggestive images seems to me to be an anathema.
But, that throws up the main question for us mid-life women. Even if you have the body of a super-model in your 50’s (I hate you, btw), is it appropriate to put it out there for all to see? Are we doing ourselves a disservice and undermining what we are striving to achieve:
To be taken seriously, respected and valued at this stage in our life, in case you’ve forgotten.
I may be being a tad controversial on this, but do you join me in wanting to be respected and revered for who and what we are - not the size of our tits!?
DROPPING “FAKE” FRIENDS
Over the years, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been deeply hurt by the actions of a so-called “friend”. You know, those who go out of their way to let you know how much they value your friendship with them only to let them get so close to you that they have the right amount of trust and knowledge to use it stab you very royally in the back. Both professionally and personally.
When I was younger and far more naive, it happened quite frequently. And it hurt like hell. And being the trusting sop I was, it happened time and again. It was many years before I started to learn and observe the warning signs. Someone being super, super nice and being a little too gushing in their kind words etc. Over time, I realised what was going on, and I developed a way to distance myself so that they got the message that I wasn’t the pushover they thought I was.
But, even though we’re older and hopefully wiser women now, there are still those people around who are so insecure in themselves, that operating in this way is the status quo for them. They haven’t developed the emotional maturity to see that the friendships they develop aren’t “real” friendships and are only based on using that friendship for gain and validation. Surely a sad way to live.
So, reinforcing the theme of this edition of the newsletter, if you are suffering from a less than perfect friendship (or relationship, come to that), then dig deep and find a way to drop them, or gradually reduce the time you spend with them. And, once they’re out of your life, sit back and watch something glorious take their place :)
THE REGULAR DOLLOP OF POSITIVITY :)
Continuing the regular bit of positivity I include in the newsletter, here’s a little graphic with advice that’s worth thinking about:
Advice to make you stop worrying about the next few weeks and focus on what’s right here, right now. After all, that’s probably the only thing we have any control over.
So that’s a wrap for issue #15. I hope it brings something to your life. If you know of someone who you would also find it useful, then please share the love. It’s my aim to get as many awesome mid-life women together using the 45 Not Out community to make the changes we’re looking for - to be seen and valued as much as we should be, at this stage in life. And you can start to do that by sharing the newsletter. Use the button below to do that
So, all that’s left for me to say is to look after yourself for the next fourteen days.
Till a fortnight’s time
Una x