THE CONFIDENCE ONE - Issue #22
Because confidence can be in short supply at our age…..
Hello, dear readers.
A warm welcome back, as ever, to the 22nd issue of the 45 Not Out Newsletter. And to those of you who are here for the first time - a doubly warm welcome :)
In this issue I’m looking at confidence and how a lack of it, no matter how small, can impact your quality of life. I very much think is woman thing. It’s usually women you hear talking about lack of confidence.
Or could it be that men suffer from it just as much, but never admit to it? Probably, but doesn’t that apply to so many other things in life?
So, regardless of the status quo, see below for a few suggestions to help you get past those barriers.
QUICK CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS
Like most of us, a tumultuous drop in confidence seems to hit me when I’m facing something new or scary. It’s part of a being a woman in today’s society, and as they say, nothing grows inside your comfort zone. So it’s good that these instances come along that challenge us to push ourselves well beyond the realms of what is comfortable. However, going through those challenges can be overwhelming at times, so here’s a few hacks I’ve gleaned over the years to help.
Here’s hoping they give you a bit of a boost next time you’re facing your nemesis :)
A sneaky peak at something inspiring.
Years ago I bought a palm size version of the late 90’s sensational book “The Little Book Of Calm” by Paul Wilson. It’s a very portal book - 3 inches x 3 inches - and I tend to carry it around with me to have a quick sneak when I need it.
It designed to be a dip-in book - each tiny page of the book contains just a few sentences, but these sentences are total pearls of wisdom. For the sake of brevity I won’t go into too much detail, but for the times when I’ve been having a wobble (of which there are plenty) I’ve dipped into this book to find a subject that matches my situation and, as cheesy as it sounds, reading these empathic but uplifting sentences really helps.
Wear something amazing
If you’ve got a difficult day coming up, think hard about what you’ll wear. There’s nothing more empowering than knowing you look good and enjoying what you’re wearing. And if it needs it, carve out an hour or two, ahead of your big event, to try on your outfits that you think will suit the occasion in front of a good mirror and see how you feel in each outfit and how you look. Basically, its a sneaky hour or so of self care, which all feeds in to your confidence.
Let yourself have a bad day sometimes
“If you’re having a day where you feel terrible, sometimes you just need to let them happen and move on, pretending they didn’t mean anything - and eventually they won’t”, says Michelle Elman, Life coach and trainer who write for Insider.
So, if you’re suffering and your schedule for the day allows you to either stay under the duvet or slump on the sofa watching soppy films, then do it.
Imagine yourself confident
A good trick that therapists recommend is to try and imagine yourself in somebody else’s shoes when you’re facing difficult situations. For example, you’re just about to step onto the podium to give a speech and you’re having the most horrendous wobble wondering what on earth you’re doing there - imposter syndrome at it’s worst. One of the things I’ve used has been to imagine someone I admire who I know would absolutely smash the challenge I’m facing, and taking a few minutes to imagine them in front of me where I step into their shoes and “become” them.
It sounds a bit woo-woo, but trust me, it works. I don’t know why it works scientifically - there may be those of you who do the scientific explanation reading this - and if you haven’t already tried it, it’s worth giving it a go
As I said at the outset, just a few tips I’ve picked up over the years from a variety of sources. I hope they help :)
A DOLLOP OF POSITIVITY
The usual bit of the newsletter where I dive into my stash of upbeat sayings to bring you some words of uplift and comfort. I hope you like this one :)
This fits very nicely with the confidence theme running through the newsletter. Again, I think it’s a woman thing of our generation that we work so damn hard that we don’t take time to have a look behind us to see how far we’ve come and how effective all our efforts have been.
So, I’m ordering you to take five minutes at least one time each week to sit down with a brew of your choice to just list the things you achieved last year, and, if you have time, compare yourself now to where you were last year.
I promise you won’t be disappointed. Like the rest of us, you just a bit of a kick to do it and to carve out the time. Enjoy and be uplifted :)
So there you - Issue 22 looking at all things confidence.
I hope there was something in there that resonated with you. And if you have any ideas that would be good to include in another issue, just reply to this newsletter - it will find me :)
So, as we plough on through the first month of a hopefully far better 2022, I wish you health, safety and joy
Till a fortnights time