STRESS LESS, SASS MORE...
Cos stress ain't got no business being in our life
Hello There, fab ladies
I hope you are well and enjoying this fabulous spell of weather here in the UK. It would seem summer is here - however fleetingly (we all know what a typical British summer is like) - and I sincerely hope you get the time to enjoy it.
I also hope that, during these sun kissed days, you also get time to slow down and show yourself some self care.
And the reason why I’m talking about this very thing today, is because of the last week or two I’ve heard to contemporaries of mine - women who I know and admire, and are a similar age to me - who have experienced life-changing illnesses.
And, you would never have seen it coming.
So, it got me to thinking, should we all be changing what we’re doing and show ourselves a bit more care and attention, to avoid being vulnerable to dreadful illnesses in our later years, where stress is very much a factor?
I know, post menopause, stress and anxiety seem to have increased for me. And it’s the smaller things that seem to affect me more, and god only knows where that’s come from. Annoyingly, it’s the tiny things that seem to stress me out.
Take for example, the decision to make and sew a curtain to hide a cluttered area under a worktop in our utility room. I am a bit of a sewer, and did loads in my younger years prior to having children, and undertaking a small project like this would have been a joy and something I just did without turning a hair. And I would have made a damn fine job of it too, if I say so myself :)
But now - as a post menopausal woman - I kinda lost it! The fabric was purchased before Christmas 24, and it’s only now, June 25 that I’ve been able to find the confidence and equilibrium to complete it. I went into total denial that I had to wanted to sew the curtain and fully believed that I couldn’t do it.
Now, I know this might seem a pointless and inane example to quote, but what I’m trying to get over is that the self doubt, fear and terror of trying something that 20 years ago I would have dived straight into knowing I would complete the job with aplomb and would receive praise and admiration for my finished product, has been stripped away completely by that bitch menopause.
And, it’s the fact that if menopause and all the loss of confidence boosting hormones that pre menopausal women are slushing around in, then what else could we post menopausal women be vulnerable to?
And, very clearly, the words stress, anxiety and resultant illnesses came into my mind.
And this frightens me. I’m very aware that my anxiety levels are far higher than they used to be and that anxiety has affected different areas of my life. Poor sleep is something I’ve really struggled with in the past.
But, in order to find a solution to these dangerously high levels of anxiety, what could I do? HRT is the obvious one - to replace the peace-giving hormones that I’m so obviously lacking - but I tried HRT for a couple of years, and it did nothing for me. In fact, it made me worse.
So, what else is open to me when these anxious, wobbly moments hit, as they frequently do?
Well, this set me off on an odyssey to find some solutions that I could do easily incorporate into my life to dial back on the anxiety and self doubt. And I found a couple that I’m currently working on, and thought it would useful to pass on to you guys.
So, my go-to in my god-awful wobbly moments to soothe my soul a little, here’s a couple of things:
I recently saw a video by Quiet Note on Instagram - you can find their account here . It’s run by a guy who is a mindfulness coach and one of the tips he talked about was, when you’re feeling strung out, to get out in nature and sit there for 10 mins minus your phone or anything that might disturb you, and just listen to the sounds. Just. Purely. Listen. So, this morning I gave this a little go. I came back from a work meeting incredibly het up (and there was no good reason why - the meeting had gone well) but during the drive home my menopausal brain had been putting two and two together and making five and I felt a in bit of a panic when I got home. Taking this guys advice, I went straight into the garden, sat down on a garden chair and did my best to concentrate on my surroundings and the sounds I was hearing - birdsong, distant traffic etc - for 10 minutes.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT - IT WORKED! My stress levels reduced considerably and I walked back into the house, made my lunch and enjoyed a peaceful hour or so eating lunch and watching trashy lunchtime tv. Who would have known?
Another thing that I’m bringing into my stress relieving toolbox is cold water dipping. I have done some wild swimming before now and I know just how calming it is, but I don’t live very near anywhere you can just pitch up and swim, plus when I have done it, I can’t get over the thought of what might be lurking in the water and what they might have done in there. So, for this reason, I’ve invested in an outdoor ice dip thingy (it’s actually a brand new water butt with a lid that I will be using) and I intend to use for the times when those wobbly moments occur. This is a work in progress but over the next couple of weeks I will get everything set up - the water butt, the chlorine additive etc - and I’ll post about how it goes.
Box Breathing. I’ve tried a few different types of breathing exercises over recent times, but nothing calmed me as quickly as Box Breathing. This is basically a routine of breathing in for 4 counts, holding that breath for 4 counts, breathing out for 4 counts and then holding your breath for 4 before breathing in again. You can find a better explanation here . I recently tried this when I woke in a panic one night (no idea why!) and so got up, went downstairs so as not to disturb my husband and did box breathing for about 10 mins then went back to bed and fell straight asleep. So that’s one that’s been tucked into my back pocket for when it’s needed :)
I hope these ideas give you some ideas to incorporate into your own life for times when you need them and that you forgive my inane ramblings! It means the world that the readership has remained loyal and keeps with me each issue.
The next one will be published in a fortnight’s time and I’m always open to ideas if there’s something you’d like me to include. Just reply to this email and it will find me.
In the meantime, I wish you a good couple of weeks, with hopefully good weather, and low stress levels.
Till a fortnight’s time
Una x