NAVIGATING LIFE AS A SINGLE WOMAN
Hello you fab ladies, you
How are we all? Well, I hope and starting to embrace the coming Autumn. Because, in case you haven’t noticed a few dead leaves are starting to fall incredibly early. And I think we will have something of an early Autumn. But let’s not wish away these golden summer days that we’re still having. The dark, short days will be with us soon enough.
This edition of the newsletter is dedicated to all midlife and older women who are walking the vibrant path of singlehood.
Whether you’ve chosen this road or found yourself here unexpectedly, never, ever apologise or feel sorry for yourself. Single life in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond is a chapter rich with possibility, growth, and fulfilment.
Thriving Solo: Your Life, Your Terms
Being single isn’t about waiting for someone to arrive—it’s about living with intention and joy.
The freedom to craft your days, nurture your passions, and build a life that reflects your values is priceless. You don’t need a partner to validate your choices or accompany you into new adventures.
But because the rest of society may not be geared up to make things easy for the solo woman, I thought I’d cover a few areas of life that may be a bit bumpy for them.
The first one is having a fulfilling social life. Doing a bit of research online, I found some good advice from those who know quite a bit more than I do about these things and hacks to make circumnavigating these areas a little bit easier.
Social Life Hacks for Single Women
Build a community: Deepen existing friendships and be open to new ones. Be quite creative with this. Try organising themed dinner parties, joining book clubs, or exploring local workshops. Connecting with others who share your interests amplifies your sense of belonging and widens your network.
Say yes to invites—solo: Don’t shy away from attending events alone. Theatre, movie nights, concerts, and art exhibitions can be enjoyed solo. You may discover the joy of being present and open to new connections.
Support networks: Seek out groups specifically for single women in midlife—whether online or in person. These can offer both emotional support and practical tips for navigating life’s twists and turns.
Another area that can be a mine field for single women is dating. Again, I sought the advice who have lived and survived this one:
Dating Tips for Midlife and Older Women
Dating at this stage is different—and can sometimes be better! Confidence drawn from lived experience can make the process empowering and rewarding. You have such a lot of experience to draw upon and this will probably help in navigating the sometimes choppy waters that dating can produce.
Those that know about these things advised:
Knowing your values: Identify what you’re looking for—and what you won’t tolerate. You know yourself; let that guide you. Don’t be drawn in to smarmy smiles and talk. Keep strong to your own values.
Online dating savvy: Don’t be afraid to try dating apps, but approach with scepticism and self-compassion. Set clear boundaries and don’t rush—getting to know someone can take time.
Enjoy the process: Focus more on connection and enjoyment, less on ticking boxes. Every date is an opportunity for fun and discovery, whether or not it leads to romance.
Another area is socialising by yourself. Not always the easiest to undertake. Again, advice from those who have walked the walk:
Taking Yourself Out: Solo Dates
Who says you need a partner for a social event? Treat yourself to the experiences you desire.
Restaurant evenings: Book a table at the new French bistro or go to that cosy pub you’ve always wanted to try. Bring a favourite book or people-watch—you’ll savour your own company.
Cultural outings: Museums, galleries, and local history sites are perfect for alone time. You can linger where you like, reflect, and absorb uninterrupted.
Pamper sessions: Take yourself to a day spa, or unwind with a solo afternoon tea at a local café.
If you’re on your own, holidays and getaways can be daunting, but again, advice from those who have tried it suggest:
Solo Travelling: Confidence On the Road
Start local: If international travel seems daunting, explore nearby towns or cities. Day trips and weekend breaks offer variety and comfort.
Plan ahead: Research destinations, read solo travel blogs by other women, and pick places with safe reputations and lots to do.
Embrace adventure: Solo travel brings self-discovery. Enjoy setting your own pace, itinerary, and making new friends.
Basically these are all situations where you can just honour yourself. They will do loads to increase your sense of self worth and that transmits out to the world in general.
I recently came across the most wonderful online platform for single women. It’s by a fellow Substack newsletter (like this one) and written by a proudly single journalist, Nicola Slawson and is a wonderful resource for single women like her. Nicola not only writes weekly about her experiences and tips as a singleton navigating life, but is very good at curating articles and resources that make the single life that much easier. You can sign up for Nicola’s newsletter here
Final Thought
Being single in our midlife and older years isn’t a limitation—it’s a liberation. Celebrate your independence and the richness of your life. Whether you’re seeking romance, forging new friendships, or heading out on solo adventures, this is your time to shine.
As some of you may know, I’ve been producing this newsletter fortnightly for free since 2020. And I absolutely love doing it - deciding what subjects you might need to know about, researching things related to that subject and physically writing the newsletter and sending it out to you lovely lot.
And, I’m delighted to say that the number of subscribers has grown steadily and organically through the years and is now at around 180. Which is wonderful - I never could have envisaged that when I first started.
I’m delighted to announce that I’m extending the newsletter to offer more editions during the month. These editions will be more in depth and will cover subjects that will differ from the regular fortnightly editions I produce for everyone. And they will be more highly researched with inputs from experts in that subject, occasionally.
These new editions won’t be available to the usual subscriber membership. Because they will be far more informative, they will be a paid for version, still on the Substack platform - it was just be another aspect of the 45 Not Out suite of products.
I know from conversations that many of you enjoy reading my newsletters and tell me how much it resonates with them. So, I’d hope that those of you who do value what I write, will become one of my paid for subscribers. The cost will be:
7 USD each month or
70 USD paid annually - that’s a 20% saving on the monthly subscription
If you’d like to become one of my cherished paid for subscribers you can click on this button below to go to where you can sign up
45 NotOut ©2020 Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber.
So that’ll be a wrap from me. If you’re single right now, I hope all the stuff I mention above resonates with you and helps you to navigate the single life a little more easily.
I’ll sign off now, but not before wishing you a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend and a restful week ahead.
Till next time,
Una x