MY FIRST YEAR....
.... as a Sexagenerian. Who knew????
Hello, dear lovely readers.
I hope this newsletter finds you well and happy? It’s a bit of a special (if not slightly longer) one. But there’s a good reason for that:
Tomorrow I turn 61.
I’m really gobsmacked I’ve got to this age. In my earlier years, I never really thought of myself being this age. I mean, I hoped I’d still be alive, but I never gave much thought to what I’d be doing.
So here I am. What did I think I’d be doing? I don’t really know, if I’m honest. I mean, in your 20’s, you don’t sit back and think “I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m in my sixties”. It just didn’t cross my radar.
Another thing to ask myself is – have I achieved all that I thought I’d achieve by this age? Again, never gave it much thought. But my knee jerk reaction would be – nowhere near.
And although that can be viewed very much as a negative, I take it as a positive.
I mean, yes I can wallow in thinking all the things I failed to achieve – be a journalist, travelling and living abroad – but I have achieved a lot of what I wanted. Living in Cheshire was a big one for me, which I achieved in 1996.
And I wanted to live in Cheshire for, yes, all the glossy lifestyle pictures I saw, but also knowing if we had a family, the quality of life we might have. We had two girls, and yes, although they’d disagree with me, they both had a really good education which I consider to be on a par to private education.
So, I can tick off a couple of long term goals, but what about the others?
Well, as far back as my early 20’s, I wanted to have my own business. At this time, I had a basic job in the Civil Service processing applicants who wanted to start up in business using the Enterprise Allowance (remember that - £40 a week pay to start up your own business – you could live off £40 back then).
But it took me until 1995 to achieve my goal, soon after the birth of my first daughter and I was made redundant from the job I had at the time. Can’t say I really missed it though!
But I never reached the dizzying heights with my business that I wanted to. Sure, over the years, I crossed paths with those that did and had very successful businesses, but I never felt like I had got to the level I wanted.
And I still feel like that now.
There’s still a ton of things I want to achieve. For one thing, I want my 45 Not Out business to be super successful. I want it to be a brand that women in the right demographic recognise. Right now, I’m working very hard on that. And it is hard work, but I’m fulfilled and that goes a long way to keeping you healthy, right?
Health is another concern I have. I try and do all the exercise that I’m supposed to. I have one strength session at the gym and then try to do at least 2 x cardio sessions during the week. Some days it’s easier than others to find time to do the sessions, but I do try and I feel tons better for it. “You never regret a workout” as the phrase goes.
So, getting back to why I feel not achieving is a positive – I do ramble sometimes – forgive me :(
It’s because I’m lucky enough to have something in my life that fires me up. 45 Not Out means the world to me and I’ve long said it will be my swansong. I want to build it into such an entity that I can either pass it on to someone who cares about how women in their mid-life and later years are viewed and treated as much as I do.
And, if I get to that position, I promise you, if I pass 45 Not Out on to a successor (including this newsletter) I will go to the ends of the earth to find the right person.
And this fire in my belly gets me up in the morning, keeps me driven (a little too much sometimes) but I view that as a positive. It’s having that focus that I hope will keep me functioning as a sixty (and hopefully seventy or eighty) something and able to do what I do now.
So, if I can be a little more indulgent, how has my first year as sexagenarian gone?Well, like all years, it’s had it’s ups and downs, but overall I’d say I’ve had a great year. And I’m really grateful for that.
A quick recap, if I may:
· My actual birthday was spent in Oxford, in a welcoming Air BnB, with six of us there – my husband and daughters and their other halves. It was just delightful and it meant the world to me to have everybody around me.
· My dad died in April 24, but it was a blessed relief. He’d been diagnosed with colon cancer 4 years earlier, but refused all medical intervention, and for those 4 years I was terrified he’d fall really ill and be unable to continue as my mother’s main carer as she needs 24 hour care. I’d been warned just how horrific this disease could get without medical treatment and I dreaded what would happen when that time came. In the end, his end of life lasted just a matter of weeks, but they were peaceful, fairly pain-free weeks thanks to the medical staff who cared for him in the care home he was placed in his last days. He passed very peacefully. But, his legacy to me was how strong I became in everything I had to do after he died. I’m still amazed how I coped and became a rock for the rest of the family. I like to think, in some bizarre way, my dad bequeathed that to me.
So that has been the highs and lows of my sixtieth year. I wonder what my sixty first year will bring. Have to say, I’m looking forward to it and no doubt I will cover some of it here. I hope you will forgive me 😊
I mention my beloved 45 Not Out community above. Possibly a little too much? Yes, possibly. But if you’re curious and you want to know what goes on there, you could do a lot worse than by asking to join the private, free 45 Not Out community Facebook group, that is chock to the brim with stuff that resonates with women just like you. AND, because it’s my birthday month, you can download for free the e-book I’ve written “How To Be A Vital Woman In Mid Life” where I outline all that I’ve learnt along the way and I share with you.
If you’d like to join the group, you can do so using this link, ask to join and Bob’s your uncle and Fanny’s your aunt. See you there :)
That’s a wrap from me, as I’m off to start my birthday celebrations a few hours early.
Keep well and warm until the next time
Una x