HOW TO BE SEEN & HEARD...
Without apologising for it….
Hello, you fab lot!
I hope this issue finds you well and healthy and managing to get through this difficult time of the year. Not to mention the absolutely dire situation in the UK at the current time.
But, whilst we aren’t able to make much of a change to the state of the union, as it were, there are some things we can do to change ourselves.
One of the things we can try to reverse is the way that women of our generation are regarded (invisible and invaluable etc). And one way we can do this is to speak up for ourselves.
I know first hand this is not a natural function for women of our age. We just weren’t brought up to put ourselves out there. And it can be self-defeating each time you miss an opportunity to do so. Not speaking up for ourselves erodes our sense of self-worth.
However, there are a few science-backed ways you can make the terrifying thought of speaking up less fearful.
Be clear what you want to convey. You won’t do yourself any justice if your message is mixed. If it’s difficult to decide what you want to say, write it down first, leave it about half an hour then come back and ask yourself if you were reading this for the first time, do you understand what the request is?
Don’t fall into the trap of over-explaining or justifying your request. Deliver your message clearly and concisely, then SHUT UP! Wait for the respondent to come back to you. Don’t explain why you’re asking, or, even worse, what you’d settle for if they can’t meet your request. Never apologise for asking!
Don’t be aggressive or accuse anyone of anything. Just state firmly and factually the facts as they stand and, as I mentioned above, then stop talking.
Take emotion out of the equation. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but if you practice your spiel over and over again, you will find the repetition will reduce the emotional response the request has for you.
Beware the “vulnerability hangover”. As you develop this new skill and step out of your comfort zone, it may be difficult to deal with the emotional aftermath of feeling so vulnerable and uncomfortable. You may feel irritable, as if everyone is watching you, or worried about being labeled difficult. Trust me, they aren’t. More than likely they hold you in higher esteem having voiced your request.
So there you go. Some simple but effective ways to make pushing yourself out there that little bit easier.
If speaking up for yourself really is difficult, or you wish you could be more visible, then I may have something for you.
In collaboration with Sarah White, who is a women’s visibility expert, both online and in real life, I’ve devised a webinar aimed at women who are wanting to be seen and heard, without apologising for it.
It will include tips and hacks you can use to edge yourself above all the noise and how to feel more comfortable when you get there. Along with tips on how to make yourself look the best you can be online.
The webinar will be held on Tuesday 29th November at 8.00pm for an hour and you can find more details and joining instructions here. We’d love to have you there :)
So that’s a wrap from me for another issue
I hope the above brought you something that resonates with you and adds to your life. If so, I’d love to hear about it. Drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Meanwhile, have a safe, happy and healthy couple of weeks and I’ll see you in a fortnight’s time