CONFIDENCE TRICKS (good ones!)
Because confidence can be in short supply at our age…..
Hello there, dear readers.
A warm welcome back, as ever, to the most recent edition of the 45 Not Out Newsletter. And to those of you who are here for the first time - a doubly warm welcome :)
You will have noticed that I’ve changed back to the original schedule of issuing one newsletter every fortnight. I’ve done this, because after a few months of issuing weekly newsletters, I realised that the time span between the newsletters wasn’t enough time for me to find and research topics that are relevant to us and the issues that affect us all.
I’m hoping the change will increase the quality of each newsletter I publish :)
So, in this issue I’m looking at confidence and how a lack of it, no matter how small, can impact your quality of life. I very much think is woman thing.
Or could it be that men suffer from it just as much, but never admit to it? Probably, but doesn’t that apply to so many other things in life?
So, regardless of the status quo, see below for a few suggestions to help you get past those barriers.
QUICK CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS
Like most of us, a tumultuous drop in confidence seems to hit me when I’m facing something new or scary. It’s part of a being a woman in today’s society, and as they say, nothing grows inside your comfort zone. So it’s good that these instances come along that challenge us to push ourselves well beyond the realms of what is comfortable. However, going through those challenges can be overwhelming at times, so here’s a few hacks I’ve gleaned over the years to help.
Here’s hoping they give you a bit of a boost next time you’re facing your nemesis :)
A sneaky peak at something inspiring.
Years ago I bought a palm size version of the late 90’s sensational book “The Little Book Of Calm” by Paul Wilson. It’s a very portal book - 3 inches x 3 inches - and I tend to carry it around with me to have a quick sneak when I need it.
It designed to be a dip-in book - each tiny page of the book contains just a few sentences, but these sentences are total pearls of wisdom. For the sake of brevity I won’t go into too much detail, but for the times when I’ve been having a wobble (of which there are plenty) I’ve dipped into this book to find a subject that matches my situation and, as cheesy as it sounds, reading these empathic but uplifting sentences really helps.
Wear something amazing
If you’ve got a difficult day coming up, think hard about what you’ll wear. There’s nothing more empowering than knowing you look good and enjoying what you’re wearing. And if it needs it, carve out an hour or two, ahead of your big event, to try on your outfits that you think will suit the occasion in front of a good mirror and see how you feel in each outfit and how you look. Basically, its a sneaky hour or so of self care, which all feeds in to your confidence.
Let yourself have a bad day sometimes
“If you’re having a day where you feel terrible, sometimes you just need to let them happen and move on, pretending they didn’t mean anything - and eventually they won’t”, says Michelle Elman, Life coach and trainer who write for Insider publication.
So, if you’re suffering and your schedule for the day allows you to either stay under the duvet or slump on the sofa watching soppy films, then do it.
Imagine yourself confident
A good trick that therapists recommend is to try and imagine yourself in somebody else’s shoes when you’re facing difficult situations. For example, you’re just about to step onto the podium to give a speech and you’re having the most horrendous wobble wondering what on earth you’re doing there - imposter syndrome at it’s worst. One of the things I’ve used has been to imagine someone I admire who I know would absolutely smash the challenge I’m facing, and taking a few minutes to imagine them in front of me where I step into their shoes and “become” them.
It sounds a bit woo-woo, but trust me, it works. I don’t know why it works scientifically - there may be those of you who do the scientific explanation reading this - and if you haven’t already tried it, it’s worth giving it a go
As I said at the outset, just a few tips I’ve picked up over the years from a variety of sources. I hope they help :)
I’ve been saying all year that I intend to make 45 Not Out a viable business, and one of the products that’s part of 45 Not Out is this newsletter. I love writing it and over the years have had some lovely comments about it.
And I want to take the newsletter to the next level.
So, from the 1st of August, I’m going to be offering another, more in-depth version of this newsletter diving a little deeper into issues that affect us as mid-life women. Things such as relationships, health and regularly reporting on social issues that affect us in this demographic.
I shall also be having interviews with prominent women who I know will inspire readers and these interviews will be conducted online and thrown open to other people to join the interview. However, these will be paid for events for non-members of the new subscription group. The additional new subscription newsletter will be paid for monthly - $10 per month - but members of the new subscription will gain a discounted rate to these events.
So, for $10 per month (with current exchange rates, about £7.50 per month) you get the regular 2 x monthly newsletter, plus the more “meaty” one where I cover serious issues that affect us all. And discounted rates to online interviews with women of the moment. And any other paid for 45 Not Out products and events that I’m launching this year
If you’d like to scale your membership to be part of this exclusive little club, you can sign up here:
So that’s a wrap for the Confidence issue. I hope it resonated with you. Please comment if there’s anything you’d like to pass on, or if you have a comment or question, shoot! Or, if you’d rather send me an email, just reply to this newsletter - it will find me.
I thank you for reading and staying with me.
Till a fortnight’s time
Una x