WHAT SHOULD I BE WEARING?
Dressing for who you are now. Not who you once were.....
Hello there, dear lovely readers
I hope this edition of the newsletter find you well and hearty and coping well with the depths of Autumn. At least, in the UK, we have several festivals that help to lighten the darker days - Diwalli, Halloween, Bonfire Night and then the biggest, brightest festival of them all - Christmas.
But, for now, let’s just enjoy this time of year and all that it brings us.
In this issue, I thought I’d look at the thorny issue of what women wear at our time of life. Or what they should (or think they should) be wearing. If I’m honest, there’s a moment, somewhere around midlife, when you open your wardrobe and realise that half of it belongs to a life you don’t live anymore.
The sharp suits from the old office days.
The jeans you’re convinced will fit again “one day.”
The pieces you once wore to impress, attract, or belong.
They’re still hanging there — silent reminders of other versions of you. And possibly these are the items that you should seriously think about removing (selling on Vinted, giving to charity etc) as, being a bit woo-woo about it, hanging on to stuff that doesn’t bring anything to your life right now isn’t good karma. A bit Marie Kondo, but you know what I mean.
And then there are the few items you actually reach for — the clothes that just work. You slip them on and somehow you stand a little taller. Not because they make you look different, but because they make you feel true.
That’s your Confidence Uniform — the outfit that fits not just your body, but your life.
It’s not about fashion. It’s about alignment for where you are now.
In your twenties, clothes were about ambition.
In your thirties, maybe they were about status or survival.
But somewhere after forty-five, the best-dressed people are the ones who aren’t trying to be anyone else.
The Confidence Uniform is what happens when you stop dressing for the world and start dressing for yourself.
It’s not a single outfit, but a feeling — the subtle click of self-recognition when you see yourself in the mirror and think:
“Yes. That’s me.”
So, as great as this sounds, how do we get to cultivate the ultimate “Confidence Uniform”
Edit the wardrobe, not the person.
The first step isn’t shopping — it’s clearing space.
Pull everything out and ask, honestly:
Do I wear this, or just remember who I was when I did?
Let go of the nostalgia - be ruthless - as hard as it is. Keep the truth.
Keep going through your entire wardrobe, and it may be that your “wardrobe” spans more than one wardrobe or two, but keep going until you’ve been through your entire clothes.
Once you’ve completed the entire wardrobe edit, take a lot of what’s left - in your “To Keep” pile. It might be that when you do, you start to see patterns — maybe it’s denim and blazers, soft knits, crisp shirts, or different shades of a colour that always lifts you.
That’s your style DNA. Once you recognise it, dressing becomes effortless — a quiet act of self-respect rather than a daily guessing game.
Fit as respect, not concession.
In midlife, our bodies evolve. It’s one of the few guarantees in life. There’s no getting around it.
Instead of resisting it, the Confidence Uniform approach honours it.
Clothes that skim rather than squeeze, fabrics that move rather than cling — this isn’t giving up. It’s catching up to reality.
Mood over mirror.
There’s a degree of wisdom in ditching the mirror - be that a small one or one that’s full length. Be brave and forget how something makes you look.
Ask instead:
How does it make me feel?
Attractive? Confident? Capable? Grounded? Interesting?
That’s the test.
If an outfit doesn’t move you closer to that, it doesn’t make the cut.
Style at this stage isn’t about chasing trends or turning back time.
It’s about dressing to meet your day — and yourself — with quiet assurance.
The Confidence Uniform Checklist
I trawled a few websites of stylists who specialise in dressing women at our stage in life to see what they advised. I found these 5 questions to ask yourself when you’re wondering what to wear.
What do I feel most myself in — not just comfortable, but centred?
Which colours or textures do I instinctively reach for?
Do my clothes match the pace and rhythm of my life now?
If I met myself for the first time today, would my outfit tell the truth about me?
What’s one item I could let go of — and one I could wear more often — to feel more aligned with who I am now?
This isn’t about minimalism or reinvention.
It’s about recognition.
Dressing for the person you’ve become.
In the end, your Confidence Uniform isn’t really about clothes at all.
It’s a mindset — the outer expression of inner calm.
You no longer need to impress anyone. You’re dressing for you - one one else
You just want to feel congruent. At ease. Present.
And when you do, you’ll find that confidence doesn’t shout — it just fits.
Your Turn:
What’s the one piece in your wardrobe that makes you feel most you?
Share it in the comments — I’d love to see what your Confidence Uniform looks like.
If this resonated:
Hit the little heart below (it really helps!)
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So, that’ll be a wrap from me until next time.
Stay safe, warm & well and I’ll see you in a week’s time
Una x