FAKE FRIENDS
Because they exist at every stage in life
My dear readers
I hope this newsletter finds you warm & well. We’re deep into the start of Autumn now, aren’t we, and so far it hasn’t been too bad. But that’s the turn of the year lulling us into a false sense of security. And I know there will be some grey and miserable days ahead.
But, isn’t that the yin and yang of life - good & bad; ups and downs - even the rough with the smooth?
Okay, apologies for the cheesy, almost teeth on edge philosophy. But you know what I mean :(.
In this issue, I want to talk about something that I’ve experienced a few times in life. Some instances more distressing than others but it has been quite a few a times.
And that subject is Fake Friends.
Over the years, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been deeply hurt by the actions of a so-called “friend”. You know, those who go out of their way to let you know how much they value your friendship with them only to let them get so close to you that they have the right amount of trust and knowledge to use it to stab you very royally in the back.
Both professionally and personally.
When I was younger and far more naive, it happened quite frequently. And it hurt like hell. And being the trusting sop I was, it happened time and again. It was many years before I started to learn and observe the warning signs. Someone being super, super nice and being a little too gushing in their kind words etc. Over time, I realised what was going on, and I developed a way to distance myself so that they got the message that I wasn’t the pushover they thought I was.
But, even though we’re older and hopefully wiser women now, there are still those people around who are so insecure in themselves, that operating in this way is the status quo for them. They haven’t developed the emotional maturity to see that the friendships they develop aren’t “real” friendships and are only based on using that friendship for gain and validation. Surely a sad way to live.
So, reinforcing the theme of this edition of the newsletter, if you are suffering from a less than perfect friendship (or relationship, come to that), I think the first thing is to recognise that this person isn’t quite a genuine as they may seem.
As I said previously, I’m quite naive, and despite my age, and even now in my later years, I still am. So, how do we learn to spot these people who enjoy being so destructive, and how do we end the friendship?
Well, here is a combination of what experts suggest, coupled with my experience.