Do you (or would you like a) Mentor?
Because a mentor ain't just for business :)
Dear lovely readers
I hope this missive finds you well and gearing up for the last few 5 weeks of the year. 5 weeks??? Yes, really. Isn’t that scary!!
The end of 2025 has creeped up on us (well, it has me) but then it’s been a bit of a year - deaths, job struggles - you know, all the usual lot that goes into being a woman at this stage in our lives.
But we battle on, don’t we? And that struggle makes us who we are. And, given all the struggles and challenges we’ve probably been through at this stage in our lives, it puts us in a bit of a position where we can really give back.
And by giving back, I mean mentoring. The term mentoring is usually connected with someone who helps and advises you in a business/work related sense - but it doesn’t have to be.
In my book (which, I admit, might be a bit of a strange one) mentoring and it’s benefits are fitted to anything that helps us to improve our lives and position. And it can be either by doing mentoring (really gratifying) or by receiving (equally as gratifying)
Wondering where the term came from? I thought I’d give it a search online and the Oxford English Dictionary describes a mentor as:
“A trusted friend and advisor”.
The definition makes no mention of it being a work only term or that it refers purely to business. We aren’t all Anita Roddicks (founder of the Body Shop) or Oprah Winfreys (don’t need to explain this one, do I?) with their mega business success, but I bet deep down within you, there’s something that you want to achieve - whether that’s on a personal level or something work related.
And, it’s very much human nature that we tell ourselves not to think about that thing, because we’re nowhere near good enough to achieve it or things that like that don’t happen to people like us. So it’s gets pushed to the back of our mind whilst we get on with our everyday.
This is where a mentor comes in. A skilled mentor will ask the right questions to elicit what it is you most want to achieve. Because the brain exists purely to keep us alive, it very much protects the status quo. This means that it tends to “filter” thoughts and ambitions that could change the situation we are currently in. So, it can be understandably hard to think about what it is you most want to achieve.
Going back to the skill of a mentor. As I said, they should be experienced enough to ask the right questions for you to discover what it is you most want. To allow those thoughts that are stuck at the back of your brain to come into the foreground of your mind for you to discover.
And, as I’ve said previously, it’s not all work/business related. It could be something you want to achieve health or fitness wise - run a marathon, climb Kilimanjaro or something equally as mind-blowing.
So, if working with your mentor helps you find your hidden dream, a good mentor should be able to help you put a plan together to help you achieve that. And it might be such an undertaking that it could take you years to achieve. Again, that very good mentor should help you break your plan down into manageable, tiny steps that could lengthen the time your dream actually takes you, but imagine the self confidence boost you receive with each tiny step you smash. And by taking these small steps, you are far more likely to stick to the plan. If only for the hit of dopamine (feel good hormone) you generate each time you tick off a step.
That’s another tip and one that I’ve used a lot myself - log your goals and your plan somewhere you can tick the steps off - it’s a lovely feeling! And, to get even more bang for your buck, log them somewhere where you see them regularly. This will help to cement them more fully.
So, what you are you waiting for? If you feel a mentor might be the kind of thing you need right now, then look for local opportunities to partner up with someone who knows the field where you are wanting to shine in. Whether that’s business, health or just improving yourself in a general sense.
There will be lots of free/low cost initiatives where you can be paired up with a mentor who can start to elicit from you what you really want from your life, and, more importantly, be able to help you formulate a plan to help you achieve those wants.
Wishing you the best of luck with this!
I’ve recently been added to a Messenger chat group on Facebook and it’s been an eye opener. It’s purely Cheshire-based (where I live) and it’s full of mid-life women seeking connection and interaction with women just like them. And it’s an eye opener because I didn’t realise just how many women looking for friendship and support there were.
However, for the past two years I’ve been doing something similar. I started a closed (very important - what goes on in the group, stays in the group) 45 Not Out Facebook group and the numbers have been growing nicely.
It’s a supportive and positive place to be. But, there’s always room for more sassy, mid-life women who really haven’t given up yet. So, if you want to be part of a 250+ and growing Facebook group where you can kick back, have a moan and receive support from women who think like you do, then come on over. We’d love to have you along. There’s power in numbers!
So, that’s it for another issue from me. As always, I hope it resonated with you. If there’s anything you’d you like me to cover, please just reply to this email.
As ever, I wish you a good rest of the week and stay safe and well until the next issue.
Take care
Una x